88 Love Life

seriousmatteronly
Apr 27, 2015
3 min read

They say, age makes you wiser. Not for everyone though, but it works for me. Not only has getting “older” made me wiser, it has also taught me to be stronger. Less worries. Less drama. Just being grateful every single day.

One thing that I learned greatly, is that the quality of life you live heavily depends on the people you are surrounded with. I was not brought up in such a good environment, that the act of bullying was pretty much a common view. It was toxic, and it took a huge part of myself, making me feel scared to live my life-taking away my youth in a way. But mom never pulled me out of that environment. She taught me to be strong, to get pass it, to just focus on my studies and achieve good grades. I didn’t understand at that time. I feel tortured. The whole process was painful. But I survived. And I graduated from all my elementary, primary and high school as Best Student continuously.

Did I get any acknowledgement from my school? No. It was a slap on my face. I felt like “working hard” and “achieving good grades” turned out to not matter at all. So I became sort of a rebel during my university times. I arrived late in class, I sat in the most back row, I slept during classes, I never took notes. I just hated the whole thing. Fast forward, I graduated and I survived.

Looking back at those years, I feel like if there was anyone to blame, it would be…myself. I think, I was too weak. I allowed people to hurt me. I allowed the environment to affect me. I learned from S that we ought to stand up and speak up for ourselves. If only I was slightly “louder” , perhaps life would have been less miserable for me at that time.

Nowadays, I feel more confident to speak up. To stand up for the things I believe in. If things don’t change, I decide to leave and move on. I don’t want to be surrounded by negative energy coming from negative people. I choose to be among those who inspire me, in hopes that I can inspire others too. I no longer worry about people who talk bad about me, who mistreat me, and those who look down on me, because their voice do not matter anymore.

The memories of myself being bullied by friends, by teachers, they still remain inside my head. I think it’s hard to completely eliminate such bitter feelings. But they don’t affect me anymore. Instead, I use them as a motivation to be better. To succeed in the things I do. And a reminder to not treat people the way they treated me.

I also learned that achievements are not for anyone else but ourselves. It does not matter if other people don’t care, because our achievements are for our own sake - to mark our own milestones, and move on. It is the people you love who matters the most. To make them proud and happy. If they are happy for you, then that means more than anything else.

I now think, that if we don’t like something, get out. Just get out of it. Get rid of it. Life’s too short to be spent like that.

FIND A NEW POND WHERE YOU CAN SWIM FREE AND HAPPY, NO MATTER HOW SMALL OR BIG. EVEN BETTER, MAKE YOUR OWN POND.