Reflect

I walked forward. I didn’t dare to look back. I could feel sweat trickling down my face. And I continued to walk forward.

And I do it fast.

***

Aina sat in front of me. We were in a fast food restaurant. We ate and we talked. The usual that we always do in the weekend. She was my best friend since secondary school. We had a lot in common; from favourite music to ideal type of guy. We even worked in the same travelling agency. She was a good company, a good listener and she was what I consider as… a good friend.

Beside me was my husband, Khalid. He was still handsome even in his mid-thirties. As for Aina’s, probably he was not coming. And I knew that they were actually having a relationship problem though Aina didn’t talk to me about it.

Usually, the weekend outing was only for Aina and me. So it was like a girls-only-and-no-boy-is-allowed day for us but my husband insisted on coming today.

“I go to the toilet first,” I excused myself.

I saw in front of Aina and Khalid was a paper and they looked deep in discussion and yet happy about it. Upon my return, Aina whom saw me first took the paper away hastily and made a poor job at hiding it.

I forced a smile, “What is it?” Looking at both of them.

“Nah,” my husband said. Aina shook her head.

I frowned at their denial. And I didn’t want to push them. I had seen this before. This behavior. An act of not telling me, an act of someone who had a secret, an act of… No, I told myself, don’t go there. But the suspicion was getting clearer. Because I had seen this behavior lately.

One such behavior was when I was at home. Khalid received so many calls and he told me that it was work-related although I knew it wasn’t. His glances were wary and he quickly switched it off whenever I was inside the room. He also stuttered when I questioned him and averted his eyes from looking directly at me. Besides he came home late and he never did that—not even once during our five years of marriage. He normally texted me if anything came up but lately he didn’t.

Aina had become strange in her own way. For instance, she became too busy at work and had too many meetings outside that we didn’t even have the time to eat together in the canteen. She avoided me when at work. I didn’t understand why. I knew she was dedicated to her work but that didn’t mean that she did not have the time to even greet her best friend.

At such time, when Aina had meetings outside, I would call my husband to accompany me eat outside. And my phone calls would be answered with a ring.

In the end, I had to eat alone without anyone that I loved beside me because they were too busy with their work.

But one day, my colleague informed me that she saw my husband’s car outside the office. It was after lunchtime. After he left my call unanswered. I checked my phone. Hm? Weird. He didn’t text me about coming here.

I looked out through the window of my office and true enough, I saw my husband’s car. And who came out from the front passenger? I stared at disbelief.

It was none other than… Aina.

That was when I felt a stab of betrayal.

That instant my brain made all the connections. The unanswered phone call, the avoidance, the secret… It all made sense.

And here I was, sitting beside my husband and in front of my friend in a fast food restaurant as if nothing happened. I forced myself to smile. I pretended to be happy as they pretend in front of me.

“Khalid, I wanted to buy some things in the shop. Aina will go with me. So would you be so kind to go to the car first and wait us there?” I asked Khalid. He nodded and smiled. I didn’t return it. Hence we went.

Even though I said that I wanted to shop but I led Aina to the back alley. It was deserted. Perfect.

Aina innocently followed me by her side. Although I saw a confusion on her face at the location that I led her to. But she just smile—as if saying that she trusted me. I didn’t smile back because what replacing that smile was my feelings of betrayal.

“Aina. I just wanted to know, what have you been discussing with Khalid? What is the secret?” my voice was hard.

“Secret? What secret?”

Oh? So this is how you want to play, huh.

And I told her—my deductions. “The secret that you have been avoiding me all this time. The secret that your husband is having an affair with someone. The secret that your outside meetings are a meeting with someone you have an affair with. An affair with MY husband.”

“No. I…”

I cut her off. “Do you have no shame? He was my husband. And I am your best friend. So what? You want to avenge your husband is it? But using your best friend’s husband? I think of you better than this. I trusted you. But instead what did you do? I trusted you…” I shook my head in frustration.

“No. Listen to me…”

“I don’t want to hear reason!” I let out all my bottled-up-frustrations. I could not controlled my anger… my hatred… my sanity… I took a nearest stone that I could find and with all my might, I hit her with it. Hit her. Hit her. My ears are deaf to her plea. My mind had lost its sanity. I hear nothing. I process nothing.

I came back to reality when I heard a rustling of something. It was the paper that Aina hid earlier. I took the paper with me and put it inside my handbag. Then I left her lying on the ground unconscious. Or most probably… dead.

I walked forward. I didn’t dare to look back. I could feel sweat trickling down my face. And I continued to walk forward.

And I do it fast.

***

“Where is Aina?” Khalid asked me as soon as I entered his car.

A twitch of annoyance tugged at me but I hid it. “Her husband is picking her up.” Khalid nodded once. Then we sped down the road.

***

Once we arrived at home, Khalid took my arm and led me to the living room. I sat down on the sofa and he did the same opposite me.

“There is something that I didn’t tell you,” he started. I think I knew what is coming. “Aina and I…” he stopped. I braced myself because hearing his admittance would hurt no matter how prepared I was.

He sighed. “Actually I plan to celebrate our upcoming fifth wedding anniversary. I wanted it to be a surprise. But you know, I’m not good with surprises so I asked for Aina’s help. Dubai would be where we celebrate and Aina showed me the package offered earlier. That’s why it’s a secret but since I can’t bear with the secrecy so I tell you and…” Khalid continued to talk. His lips were moving but I didn’t hear any sound.

My eyes widen in horror. I took out the paper from my handbag with trembling hands. What Khalid said was true. Then it came to me—the reality. The fact that I killed someone. My body was shaking. My heart was unsettled—guiltiness, fear. I looked at my hand and I saw blood. I screamed.

And then I saw black.

Author’s note: Think of the moral. And then reflect.

#reflect #moralofthestory #staypositive #misunderstanding #friendship #thinkbeforeacting #ireadiwriteproject #week1