Commitment

D. K
Apr 29, 2015
5 min read

The aroma of the earl grey tea gave me a sense of tranquillity as I gazed at the grizzled sky outside through the large glass window of the café, wondering if the Nimbostratus clouds would emancipate the raindrops soon. I sipped the hot tea to make myself warm since I was sitting directly in front of the air-conditioner. ‘Why did I choose this table in the first place?’ I thought to myself.

My eyes wandered across the café, particularly at its front door – waiting for the person whom I’ve been longing to meet after a few months of not contacting. Only about five minutes later, I finally saw the person that I dearly missed. I slightly raised my right hand just to grab her attention and when she did, she approached me and finally sat down across my seat. I broke out into a smile, “Assalamualaikum, Ara! How are you and your parents?”

“Waalaikumussalam. Alhamdulillah, my parents and I are doing fine. Just…been busy lately. Sorry for not replying your messages a few weeks ago, I had something at that time,” Syuara replied and reciprocated the smile.

“Nah~ it’s ok. I understand that you’ve been busy since you have just been promoted in your work. Well, talking about your promotion…congratulations! You deserve it,” I quietly applauded with a huge grin on my face.

Syuara grinned, “Thanks, Ina. I really appreciate it. Have you ordered?” she began to browse through the menu book which has been placed in front of her.

I nodded, “I’ve ordered a drink but not yet food,” and I turned to the waitress who was waiting to take our orders, “I’ll have meatball spaghetti, thank you.”

After we were done with our orders, we began to talk about whatever that we have experienced and simply updated each other about our recent activities. Our meals arrived at the same time and we took a couple of minutes to indulge ourselves into the appetising foods that we were consuming at that time.

As I ate, I kept glancing at Syuara though she didn’t notice. I was contemplating if I should ask her that particular question or not. I decided that it was for her own good, so I chose the initial. It took me quite a while to finally have the courage to ask, “Um…can I ask you something?”

Ara finally looked up at me and chuckled, “Just ask anything like you usually do. No need to ask for my permission.”

I smiled faintly, “Uh…actually it’s about the sharing sessions with the sisters. I rarely see you during the gathering since three months ago. Is there something wrong?”

Ara sighed palpably and took a sip of her tea Tarik before she spoke, “Yeah…I can’t come to that anymore.”

“Why? Your parents don’t allow you to go out?”

“It’s not that they don’t allow me. It’s just…I have other commitments too, you know? To come to the weekly session? I don’t have time for that anymore. I’ve been promoted in my work now, that means double the workloads. Tell me how can I manage my time for all those? If you include the sharing sessions.”

It broke my heart to hear her saying that. Perhaps she didn’t understand the meaning of the sharing session in the first place. It is where you’re bonding with your sisters of Islam, your ukhuwah fillah. It is the mini garden of Paradise. I stared at my plate and after a while, I could find my voice again, “Ara…I know that you’re busy with your work and stuff, and yes…I know you’re busy especially in dealing with your future goals that you are determined of. But…don’t you want to spare your time for Allah? In remembering Him?”

Ara chuckled, “Haseenah, you’re saying this as if I’ve forgotten Allah. Are you crazy? Of course I still remember Him! It’s not like I abandon my duties as His servant. I still pray, I still read the Quran and I still believe that all of this sustenance that I’ve been receiving comes from Him. You don’t have to speak like you’re better than me, Ina. I know what I’m doing.”

“I’m sorry, Ara. I didn’t have the slightest intention to say anything like that. What I meant by remembering Allah is to have your iman being recharged by listening to some reminders by our dearest sisters alongside with the ability to remember Allah fully in whatever that we are doing. To remind ourselves that…Allah is the owner of time. Ara…remember when we first joined the programme in the mosque? Remember how spirited we were back then and how we promised to be in this journey together until we reach Jannatul Firdaus? But now…I just feel like…you’re loosening your grip from my hand and somehow you’re getting farther from me. Why, Ara? I didn’t mean to push you but…when you said that you have other commitments, I totally agree with that but have you forgotten that you also have a commitment with your ukhrawi matters to be dealt with? Other people have commitments too, Ara. Just take Sis Rozaina as an example. She is currently taking a PhD in Indonesia and yet, she still attends the gatherings when she’s back in Brunei here. Maybe it’s not important to you anymore, that’s why you keep making excuses. But people who know how important these sessions are, they will always find a way for it, not by making excuses that they don’t have time to spare,” I elucidated whatever it is that I could understand.

Silence was engulfing both of us at that time. Syuara didn’t dare to make an eye-contact with me and she just merely sat there, hunched forward. “Ara…I’m sorry if I affronted you. I’m saying this because I love you for the sake of Allah. It never changed since day one. I want to help you get back on the track so that if I’m the one who slips off the journey, you can help me back up, too. That’s what ukhuwah fillah is, right?”

Finally, she looked up and her eyes were brimming with tears, “Jazakillahu khair, Haseenah. You have made it clear for me now…”

I gave her a closed smile and patted her left arm, “Wa iyyaki, Ara. Today might be my day to help, who knows that I might need your help someday in the future. What matters is that we will always keep reminding each other to become better and to gain more knowledge for the sake of Allah. And also to spare our time in remembering Him no matter how busy we are. Just remember that, if we spend our time for Him, He will ease everything else for us. We will never lose anything but instead, we will always be gaining something. Inshaa Allah…”