Grieving and to heal

Grieving is an intense emotional expression by anyone who suffered such as to the loss of the beloved ones, ended relationships and many more reasons. As an author of this article, I am not an expert to consult with anyone who suffered it. But as a human, I would like to share that I feel what you felt. I lost my uncle, grandfather, father and grandmother in those different years. Numb and shocked were all I felt at that time. I can’t deny the unbearable pain but need to carry forward. Losing someone you loved-the feeling is could not be explained but the urge to just move on. We all know that we will lose someone or anyone in our life. But it is a life also teaches us to recover, heal and stand up.

Grieving is different and personal to each individual. Every individual have their own ways to grief. According to Worden (1991), stated that there were four tasks of grieving. There are (1) to accept the reality of the loss, (2) to work through the pain of grief, (3) to adjust to new environment and (4) to emotionally relocate the ‘loss’ and move on. The reason I shared this tasks because it might or might not help you but at least we could try it appropriately based on Islamic Syariat.

I remembered the meaning of an ayah from Al-Quran in Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 286:

Figure 1 Courtesy of Sahih International

Allah is the Most Merciful and Loving. Allah did not test us beyond our capacity. It is a test that already customized in our life. This ayah reminds me to put myself together and to not give up. I know easy to say than done. But take it like a baby step. There is no need to be rush. Give yourself some time to understand and heal.

Take your time but not too long. I believed I encountered different stages of grieving in my life. Everyone has their own time because grieving is a personal process. According to Killawi (2012), there is no completion date for grief. It is fine to have it but you should not take it for too long.

Don’t forget to pray. Pray is the Muslims’ ultimate weapon. Pray to Allah. Strengthen your relationship with Allah by praying, do good deeds, dikir and so forth.

Talk to anyone you could trust. You could talk to anyone you feel comfortable to talk to such as you friends, family members, or to a professional counselor. Try to have a rest or just spend yourselves outside and breathe the fresh air. Do whatever things that make you happy. Cherish the memory. Go anywhere you wanted; beaches or to your favorite places. Be positive and know that you're not alone.

No matter how fast or slow in this life, we will loss someone in our life. Grieving is a moment for us to heal our heart and remind to us that this world is just a temporary station. Having a loss of someone you lost or anything that bringing you down, it should be bringing you up and teach you to not give up.

Wallahu akhlam

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